Butterfly dreams

Time has slipped by
on velvet feet
so I did not hear it go.
Now I find myself,
somewhere?
In some sort of limbo.

Somewhere
between youth and wisdom
between child and mother
between intention and action
between the question
and the answer.
Waiting
with bated breath.

At first this place alarmed me
with it's lack of sure footholds
And overwhelmed me
with too much choice
and even scared me
with it's endless directions
And I caused myself pain
in this great cavern of possibilities
trying to hold on to the walls
to hold on to the known.

But now,
I am happy here.
I let go of the wall
and let go of my fear
and as I fell I found faith
and it lifted me up.
Drowned me in every tear
I've ever cried or caused
and washed my soul clean.

Now, without the weight
of guilt, shame or pain
I find I can float
in my limbo
amongst my dreams.
Chasing them like butterflies
and laughing when they flit away.
For they're not meant to be caught
they stay just out of reach
hovering and dodging.
Because to catch one and contain it
would be to kill it
as surely as caging a beautiful bird
will break it's soul.

So I watch them and play.
And sing and laugh.
Chasing them's a game played for the joy of it
not to win,
because it never ends.

They are my dreams disguised as butterflies
and they are just as they should be.
As am I.